Blogging

Well. here I am again, updating my blog after a number of months of nothing. I really do want to update more often. If you look back in my history, I think that almost every post that I make after not blogging for a while commits to blogging again more regularly. Anyway…

I haven’t really talked about what it has been like at the new house. We have lived here for a little over a year now and I quite like it. It is conveniently located on the bus route for me to get to work if I need it and the same route goes up to Onalaska and the mall. It has come in handy a number of times since moving in.
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No Longer Homeless?

Hello blog! It has been quite a while since I was on here blogging. I think that I have been spending a lot of my online energy involving my life in the vlogging area and not so much on my blog. I do need to keep posting stuff on here though as it is nice to look back on over time.

Currently, I am sitting at Riverside Park in my car, on my laptop using my MiFi to get online and write this. I love having this MiFi from Verizon to get online with almost anywhere.

They have started to put up the lights here in the park for the annual Rotary Lights. If it wasn’t so chilly, I would get out of the car and take some pictures with my camera, which I may still do. We will see. I will probably post some pictures on here as well if I do.
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Emotionally Separated

Lately, I feel very out of touch. I work a lot and it is fairly rewarding. I usually get home and am very tired. Recently, it has been getting harder and harder for me to want/like being around people. Part of it is my controlling nature of wanting things to go the way that I want them to go, part of it is not at all having the same “emotional depth” as everyone else.

Let me explain; first, the controlling part. Up until about a year ago, when I wanted to do something and if people wanted to go with me, they would just go along with whatever I wanted to do, how I wanted to do it. Lately everyone wants a say and they all want to do everything completely different. A prime example was tonight, Kohl, Beth and I were talking about going camping. I wanted to have a nice camping trip with all my friends and have it be drug/alcohol free. Apparently this is not acceptable. There has to be beer. I’m the asshole for wanting everyone sober for this.

Second, so many emotional things have been coming up lately. First was the death of Teresa’s grandma. People get old and die, it is a part of life. Why are we always so caught off guard? Why do we have to have a big emotional “I don’t know how to feel about this” situation? I am somehow the only person on this planet that is emotionally detached from death. My grandmother died in front of me when I was 9 and it didn’t bother me that much. It happens. We all have an expiration date, some sooner than others.

At Walmart it seems that everone, everyday has some form of emotional issue that needs to be dealt with. “They are making fun of me”, “I can’t be here right now for 8(insert reason here0*”. My god! Can’t you just have a job and come to work and concentrate on work?!?!

Then comes this week when one of the old CSM’s was murdered by her husband. Yes, it is tragic. Yes, it is sad that they left behind 3 kids. Do we really need to spend all kinds of time on making ribbons and setting up a donation for her and her family? Can’t that be done off the clock (and shouldn’t it?) Apparently not. That and the fact that some people were crying at work and had to leave as well as needing to talk about it every 5 minutes.

ENOUGH! Please note: When I die, please do not make ribbons. Please do not make a fund for my children. Just come to my funeral and spread my ashes wherever I like. Go about your job like any other day and don’t cry AT ALL. I’m not worth crying over for one and for another there are more important things to spend emotional energy on. I seriously want to move to the wilderness and live alone after shit like this. I just don’t get people and I don’t think that they get me either. I don’t really care either. People like me keep things interesting I guess.

Battlestar Galactica!

So Beth, Teresa, Kohl and maybe Jamie are coming over tonight to watch Battlestar Galactica from the beginning! I am really excited about this. We will see how it goes. Hopefully everyone likes it as much as I do.

I also need to change my cell phone number to rid off people that have it and are bothering me a lot lately. I hope that I can convince AT&T that I am being stalked and want to change the number because of that.

Live from B&N

So, as I was sitting at home today waiting to go to work after I are my breakfast of Cup ‘o Noodles, I decided that I needed to get out of the house and use this Boingo wireless account that I signed up for at the Minneapolis International Airport when we missed our flight going to Beth and Matt’s wedding. The nearest place was right up the street at the Barnes and Noble in the Valley View Mall.

So I got my ass up, showered and ready for work at 4:30, and went down to the mall. I then spent the next 5-10 minutes trying to find a parking spot. Aren’t we in a recession that makes everyone NOT spend money? Apparently not.

Once I got there, I noticed this hot guy at the registers (ringing people up) and as I sat here typing this, I have seen like 10 hot guys walk by. I think that I may want to come here and get out of the house more often, if only to see the hotness. Although, as Christmas comes along, it is going to get harder and harder to find a parking space, justify to myself the effort of waging war against the snow is worth it and all the crowds. We will see.

As a side note, this is the type of stuff that I have to know in order to download stuff off of the internet. Click here.

WTF?

Well, I should be getting a lot more money considering that I am working 6 days a week now – 3 at ShopKo and 3 at Sonic.net. It will be good in the end.

In other news I am really frustrated at the moment with Chris. We never spend any time together. He got back last Sunday and we saw eachother that night and Thursday morning. Saturday was out 2 month anniversary and we didn’t see eachother. Day after tomorrow will be a week since we last saw eachother and my birthday. He isn’t sure if he is going to have time.

What I don’t understand is why he had time to go to a dance club last night, hang out with his friends, etc and yet still no time for me. It is extremely frustrating. I love Chris to death. I have no doubt that he is the one, but even if he is, I can’t be in a relationship like this…

Let the Sparks Fly, Its July 4th!

Well, the last few days have been interesting.

On the 3rd, I was feeling down because I haven’t been talking to Chris much the last couple of days, and I was being overly paranoid and crazy about it. I miss him. I have never felt so much for someone and to have them leave was very sad. I really don’t know how to deal with it, so my pirates have been fighting a lot lately. Maybe I need to see a counselor?

Anyway, I texted Chris that I wanted to hear from him more and that I felt like he wasn’t putting in the effort, which he took as me not believing that he truely cared. I know he does, I am just going through this emotional episode that I have never experienced before. So, we had our first fight where he hurt me pretty bad. I got off the phone with him and felt like SHIT! So, I was still going to go with Beth to Players (the La Crosse gay bar that I like downtown) and have a drink and play some pool.
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Love is a CD

Chris made me a CD with a bunch of songs on it that explain how he loves me. Here is a track listing:

I Just Called to Say I Love You – Stevie Wonder
Love Me Tender – Elvis Presley
How Deep is Your Love – The Bee Gees
I’ve Been Thinking About You – Mariah Carey
A Kiss From a Rose – SEAL
Realize – Colbie Caillat
You Are So Beautiful – Ray Charles
You Can’t Hurry Love – Diana Ross
The Real Thing – Bo Bice
I Need You – Tim McGraw
Isn’t That Everything – Danielle Peck
With You – Chris Brown
See You Again – Miley Cyrus
Goodmorning Beautiful – Tim McGraw
Just to See You Smile – Tim McGraw
With You – Jason Michael Carrol
The One – Gary Allan
Bubbly – Colbie Caillat
Everything I Do (I Do it for You) – Some Duet (Can’t figure it out)
Wherever You Will Go – The Calling

I loved it! I understand now….