I was laying in bed watching TV this evening when all of these thoughts came into my head and I thought they would be good to write here, on my blog.

Way back at the end of 2011, I was on Grindr, which, in case you aren’t familiar, is a gay smartphone app that is used to meet guys. Here in La Crosse, it is hard to find good gay guys (and Grindr isn’t really a good alternative), but I was on there and found a picture of a guy that was in the newsroom at WKBT. I knew this because we had these awful orange squares on the wall that were apparently part of an old set and they were in the background of this guys picture.

I had heard that there was a producer of the morning show that was gay and I surmised that this was him. I started chatting with him about whether he worked at the station and he did. This was James. Our conversation fizzled out pretty quick and ended on a “maybe I’ll see you around sometime”. Shortly thereafter, he moved from producing the morning show to the 6 and 10.

One of my co-workers, Cara, who was on floor crew with me thought the two of us would be a good couple as she was friends with him. Over the next couple of months there was odd conversations between the two of us as I would deliver scripts to him before the shows. To be honest, there just wasn’t a good way to engage in conversation with anyone in the newsroom when you are on floor crew. During this time, James would come into the studio after the shows and I would check him out and try and determine if I liked him at all. This was the only time I really saw him talking or interacting with anyone and not just sitting behind his computer.

I eventually gave up around June or July. Months later, I decided to have a holiday party at my house and invite friends, folks I worked with at Walmart and my new(ish) co-workers at WKBT. When making the Facebook invitation, I also invited James. Later, I would find out that he was the only person from the newsroom that I had invited, which made him think I was interested.

I had also invited Cara and both of them showed up to the party a bit after it started. I had started drinking before the party officially started at about 7, so when James and Cara showed up about 9-9:30, I was pretty buzzed. A couple hours later, Cara left and James stayed behind. It was a great party. After the last people left at about 4:30 in the morning, James and I were the only people still there and awake.

This is where the story gets interesting. I knew that he was interested in seeing where things would go, but I would not give in so easily. I have always been the one to make the moves and take the first step. Not this time! So we started talking and he was edging closer and closer to me and I knew what he wanted, but I was going to make him work for it!

Long story short, after all of the playing hard to get, we ended up making out and he stayed over. For those of you thinking that something other than making out happened, it didn’t. It was part of the strategy that I used this time to take things slow and make sure that this was worth getting into.

Over the next almost three weeks, James and I got to know each other and went on a couple of dates and just hung out. I was still trying to decide how I felt about him. I was so afraid of putting effort and emotion into something again just to have it go away. On January 17, I wrote a post here on my blog asking him to go out with me. His comment “Yes, I absolutely will. :)” was what I was hoping for.

February 2nd we had our company holiday party and afterwards, we ended up at a local bar with my boss and her husband where James and I admitted that we loved each other. Since then, I have grown to love so much about him.

I have never had a boyfriend where I felt like we both were equals. I buy dinner, he buys dinner. He pays for an outing, I pay for an outing. I miss him, he misses me. The equality in our relationship is one of the best things about us.

There are so many little things that I love about him. I love the way he looks over his monitor at work at me and I can tell by his eyes that he is smiling. The way he looks when he wakes up in the morning next to me. The way that his hands sometimes tremble for no good reason. The way his legs look in shorts that he likes to wear often (one of the things I always took note of when he would come to the after show meetings). The cute things that he writes on this picture frame craft thing that he made that says “I <3 you because..." and then you fill in the reason. He brings me flowers and Reese's Pieces when I am feeling down. He takes care of me when I am not feeling well. He generally knows what to say and what I need to hear at the right time. James is so easy to please. Just hanging out with him and his friends. Meeting his family and having general conversation. Cuddling. Kissing. He doesn't ask for or seem to need anything else to be happy. He is amazing. I love him and I look forward to sharing the rest of my life with him. Starting a family with him. Making memories with him. Just being with him.