Life has a way of balancing out the natural order of things. If you do something that is bad or dishonest or anything like that, life will eventually correct it for you. This is a lesson that I learned recently and am sad to say, I wish I hadn’t.
My friend Jay and I have been trying to talk to guys and actually find some happiness in our lives, specifically in the relationship department. Here in La Crosse, it is hard to find single gay men other than going down to the gay bars and generally, the guys down there are more likely to have all slept with each other than just be looking for something meaningful and long term, which is what we have been looking for.
After talking to a number of guys on gay social apps like Grindr and Hornet, we found quite a few guys whose mentality was “don’t talk to me unless you are a super model, otherwise you are wasting both of our time”. As you can imagine, Jay and I got tired of this attitude and decided to fuck with these people and others.
We created a profile online named John that we would use to chat with these guys and see if some of the people we had been talking to we’re really that shallow and to basically see how far they would go with the right guy in their minds. I found a profile on Tumblr of a guy who had a lot of various shots of himself naked and not and was attractive enough to get the interest of almost anyone online.
It worked really well. Even guys that seemed nice to us on our real profiles, but would never think of “hooking up” or trading dirty pictures online would immediately do so with “John”. It became this fun game to see how many guys would talk to “John” and see how far they would go. Most guys would immediately give in and want a hookup or would explain all the nasty things they wanted to do with us.
This is where life and karma struck back.
With the Hornet app, you can choose different locations to look for guys, so as John, I browsed around the country to see who I was interested in chatting with and see what they would say and where the conversation would go. For the sake of anonymity, I will call one of the people I met online “C”.
C was very cute in his profile and he was looking for something serious it appeared. John started talking to him and it turned out that he was super hot like his profile showed, but there was much more to it. Over the course of the conversations with C, I came to really like him. He was a genuine, nice guy just trying to make his way in the world. We have been chatting a couple of weeks and I have held John’s cover story until now.
For the last week, I have fought with wanting to be honest with him and tell him the truth. What made this hard is that he is a terrific, wonderful guy and I don’t want him to stop talking to me, but I can’t really blame him if he did. I think I would be pretty pissed if a 31 year old guy, claiming to be a 22 year old college student lied to me about his age, looks and the fact that he was going to college.
However, knowing that he is a good guy and me actually sort of falling for him, I have to tell him the truth – even if it means that he will probably never talk to me again. I can’t continue to deceive him any longer, he doesn’t deserve that. After I finish writing this, I am going to see him the link to it and hopefully he will understand, but if he doesn’t, that is the price I pay for doing this in the first place.
C, hopefully you have read this far and understand how badly I feel for all of this. I truly like you and wish to continue talking to you as we have been, but as myself, Tage Johnson, a 31 year old guy from La Crosse, Wisconsin who isn’t a bad guy, just a normal guy who made a dumb mistake. You can read some other posts on here and find me on Twitter and Facebook if you want to learn more about the real me.
If, this is just too much for you and you feel that I have mislead and lied to you and you feel like you can never trust me again, I will understand, just please tell me so and I’ll leave you alone.
Thank you, C for reading this and I really hope that we can start over and forget this dumb choice on my part. After you reply in some form, I’m going to delete all of “John’s” accounts.