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Home Depot
Crappy
Jan 18th
This has been the most blindsiding crappy day EVER. First, at work the computers crashed and I helped three customers in 45 mins then they came back online. Then I got home and was going through stuff on my computer and found out that Anthony had been chatting online with people and having cyber sex with webcams on my computer while I wasn’t home and getting off. I feel so betrayed and cheated on right now. I have never had this horrible of a feeling in my life. Shit. 2005 is not being very good to me as of late. I hope the universe is happy. Another failed relationship, and it failed in the worst way.
My LJ icon looks at me as if to say: “There goes my relationship.”
PAIN
Long overdue, but before next year…..
Dec 31st
Well, this year has been fun, I guess.
Work:
I have been promoted to World Leader at Toys R Us, making $11 an hour, then got a raise to $11.06 and hour, then transfered to San Rafael, another raise ($14/hour), transfered back to Santa Rosa to night crew ($12/hour), got a job at the Home Depot for $11/hour as a regular cashier ($11.50 in mid-Feb), quit Toys R Us, and now have a chance to become Front End Supervisor for god only knows how much an hour. Also leaving TRU with the thought that it may very well be closing soon. We will see.
Love:
The beginning of the year is a bit of a blur really, lets see if I can recall…. I was single for New Years and stayed that way until about April as far as I can see and I started dating this guy Laura set me up with, Charles. He was kewl, but it went down hill pretty quickly. In the end all I got out of the relationship is one season of Queer as Folk lost, and SCABIES. Bastard! That lasted about two months, then I was single again and went back to chatting online with folk and met back up with Anthony Aquila. So I met up with him again after Beth, Laura and I went to Disneyland in Mid-August. August 30th was his B-Day, and it was fun. We are still together and things are were a little hairy there for a while, but things are looking up, so we will see where things go.
Friends:
This year I would have to say I have been more alone than I have been friends-wise for a long time. I am not sure if I like it or not. A customer said to me today that people need to find a balance in life, and I am not sure I have ever had a balance in my life with anything. Everything in my life seems to be an extreme. Beth has fucked a lot (what else is new?), Laura has an imaginary boyfriend, and thats it. I have “work buddies” that I talk to, but no real friends at work. God, I want more friends – but how with as little time I have in general.
Family:
My brother Darin (aka – Turkey Brother, now Georga Brother) has moved from Turkey to Maken, GA. He calls a lot more now, and we will be able to visit him soon so I can see my neice and nephew. Then I will have seen my neice from out of town more then my neice that lives in town with “baby’s momma” (aka – Bitch woman from which there is no escape). My mom has been having more and more “health” problems that she won;t go to the doctor and get checked out. Kevin has been busy doing god only knows what in the world, and Jimmy. Don’t get me started. ALL FINANCIAL PLANNERS SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT. Or, at least, Jimmy should have a brain of his own to make decisions, like spend money when you need to, and save the rest, not save everything no matter what. His budget rules his checkbook, and it is DUMB!!!
Self:
I have been up and down. Beginning of 2004 was good. I was at Disneyland!!! Then I was working, got promoted, made tons of money, got into a good relationship, I should be happy. Generally though, I think that I am not as happy as I want to be. I want a new TV that doesn’t suck. I want a boyfriend that isn’t so moody about the small little shit that doesn’t matter. I want friends that don’t cause drama. I want a group of friends like I did in High School. I want adventure. I want fun. But, as in Stand by Me: “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” I want a healthy mom. I want a sober brother. I want a smart boss, not Jane the dumbass. I want to have money to accomplish my goals. I am just not seeing any of it happpening in the near future.
Next year:
I think that next year might be better. I am planning no less than four (4) trips to Disneyland for the 50th Anniversary, which always makes me feel better, I will be making more. I may be FES at Home Depot, and my debt may get paid off. (Except for the car, that is 2006)
Well, that is enough for this year, later all…….
Tage
P.S. – I may unlock my Journal on my private site soon, just because I like the layout better.
Love
Dec 18th
I love you Anthony. Today while I was at work, and it was slow, I was looking at design books and thinking of our future house together. I would like to build this house with you, but everytime we fight, I see our future getting farther and farther apart. I want to spend it with you, and not have these moments. I love you. My New Years resolution is going to be giving in to you more often. I am sorry, I am not the easiest person to deal with. Just remember it will all be ok in the end. We love eachother, and we will pull through it together.
I love you, sleepwell, and I will see you in the morning.
Love,
Tage