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WATCH OUT EVERYONE THIS POST IS GOING TO GET NASTY
I am increasingly irritated with everyone at this moment in my life. I don;t really know why I am, but I just am. People are FUCKING CRAZY!!! I am too though. That is what makes this all so difficult. I am slowly going back into my shell as a person. This happens every so often. I am just exhausted from everyone. People are so draining. I am tired of being talked about like I am a commodity. I am a person god damn it! If you want to hang out with me, give me a call, and if I say no, then that is that, say okay. If you get tired of getting the same response of no, thank you, then stop trying if you feel like not trying anymore. Don’t wait for me to come around. Stop putting up with my shit and taking it up the ass (unless you like taking it up the ass). Have your own lives. I am tired of running my life, and the lives of 10 other people. Make plans without me, invite me if you want to, but stop having me come up with shit! It puts too much pressure on me, and I really can’t take it right now.
Javier – I really value your friendship, but have been so spread thin lately I haven’t had any time to do anything with you, and I am really regretting that. I do want to hang with you more, but I have to work through some of my issues that I am having right now. I hope that you understand.
Beth – This may seem blunt, but move on. I cannot support you anymore. I have only so much energy, and I can’t spend any of it on you anymore. I am sorry.
Joyous – I like hanging with you a lot, but something needs to happen. I don;t really know what it is, but it has to be something.
Laura – you are pissing people (including myself) off when you are bragging about how much time you are having with me. Please stop!!!
Zack – Simmah down nah! Things will get better for you. We all go through periods of shit, and that seems to be what you are going through right now. You will get through it, just stop pittying yourself.
Joseph – Who are you talking about in your post? I am really curious. I hope that you find happiness somewhere, but I think that you need a change of scenery at this point in your life. I know that you are trying. Good luck.
Everyone else – I am sorry.
I just needed to get all of this off of my shoulders, and I feel a little better now. We will see. I am sure that this will not make my life any easier, but actually will make my life much, much more difficult in the days to come, hopefully I will have the strength to get through it all.
Sign off.
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about 7 years ago
Hey I totally understand. I have been feeling the exact same thing latley, which is kinda why i guess i am trying to find different people to hang with. I am also tired of people coming to me expecting me to come up with things to do, and being the one in charge. I mean really there is nothing special about my leadership…it seems a bit forced upon me. all i ask is what they want, and come up with ideas depending on what they want to do…even if i dont want to do it myself. I used to enjoy going out and finding things to do and such, but now i often find myself trying to take naps, and just vegitating. I Too have been overwhelmed. I used to enjoy finding people to do things with, now i kinda want to find people to do nothing with…just hang, and not be so compelled to run off and do something spectacular…i mean if you do all these things soo often it gets to the point where it isnt fun because you are doing all the time. It becomes work. Oh well, i dunno what the point of this comment really is, but basically, yeah if you are tired of doing things, and want to do nothing with someone feel free to give me a call…and if not thats okay too, sometimes we just need to be alone, and nap, and eat and just be…if you want to talk we can do that too.
about 7 years ago
I really appreciate your understanding of this matter. I am happy that someone else understands what is going on in my head, besides me. It means a lot to find someone that understands.
about 7 years ago
could you clarify what this means for me?
about 7 years ago
what do you think it means? Honestly…
about 7 years ago
save some money and go on a fucking vacation ALL ALONE to another country. you need to find yourself…you have been under the basket of everyone else’s expectations and you don’t even know who you are. get out of here!! it kills me to see someone who has sandbags tied to his limps and neck. cut off the sandbags and just go off ALONE. being with people is contaminating at this point. you need time alone…not just hours…but a whole new scene. as you said to joseph, you need a scenery change. go to Paris where you don’t know anyone. being in a new environment and feeling alone produces very good things…it produces things that you can NOT find here in a familiar environment. just leave…get on a jet plane, and don’t know when you’re gonna be back again! don’t wake anyone up to say goodbye (except your mother and your manager). im dead serious…go find yourself. you want it, but don’t know it (or you might). that’s my advice…take it or don’t take it, just don’t overlook it.
about 7 years ago
just like austin powers said, “It’s about FREEDOM baby, yeah!”
about 7 years ago
well honestly i though we discussed our feelings yesterday and all was chill. so this kinda surprised me.you are in an anti social place and i understand and i have backed off a lot cuz i have seen you go thru this before. i don’t know why you are sorta lashing out at me. if ya want alone time more power to ya. i havent done anything to warrent another “dumping”. i just wanna know that even if we don’t hang out all the time that we are still friends cuz i don’t want to be like an ex. the anti beth thing is something that needs to go cuz i have moved on in many ways. i realize you can’t be there and i don’t mind. i have been emotional recently it hasnt been about you at all. my life is full of stress and i think very little of it is related to you. but this kinda stuff adds to it cuz nobody likes it when someone they care about gets all gloom and doom. i care about you i am and will always be yer friend. i don’t need you as a security blanket i don’t ask anything of you. get to know yer self more. from what i see its pretty great. i have been working on myself as well. its very freeing. don’t worry about me im dealing i have been for months. no crying no whining. just me. hang out with me when ya want, we do have fun together lets go for no strings attatched. sorry you had a bad day. i don’t want to be a burding or an obligation or a pain. ohana, nobody gets left behind or forgotten. so yeah, now what? its yer call. take yer time.